​I joined about 30 other parents, caregivers and teachers Thursday for A Night of Consciousness, Part 2, a workshop to teach us about our school’s social emotional program and ways to adopt it at home. I’m so glad I went. I came away with a better understanding of the brain science that is the foundation for the philosophy, as well as a handful of ideas for better aligning my discipline routine at home with what is taught at school. I wish I could distill all the information for those who couldn’t attend the workshop (I tried!), but Nicole Mercer, our Conscious Discipline certified instructor, packed the two hours with so much – I could never do it justice in one blog post.

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​Instead, here’s a bit about the final lesson of the evening – Connection:
 
The Conscious Discipline program does not rely on the traditional threat-reward system for getting kids to cooperate. Instead, that buy-in is earned through a strong relationship. Nicole explained that connecting with our kids every day is one way we build that relationship – and it’s important to understand that routine is not connection. Spending time together as we go through the normal routine of the day is not enough. A real connection requires special moments that include eye contact, touch and an expression of your feelings for the child. For example, our principal greets each student daily with eye contact, touch (high-five, fist bump, or bear hug) and warm words as they enter the building – not because it’s cute, but to start their day with a positive first connection. If you’ve ever tried the threat, “if you don’t stop that behavior, you might need a visit to the principal’s office,” I'm sure you realized it didn’t work - none of our kids are afraid of their principal! She has built connections with them and has earned their cooperation, rather than scaring them into obedience. And that’s what we’re really after at home too. 

Nicole said that at home, rituals for connecting can be anything – family songs, sayings, inside jokes or secret handshakes. She gave us this adapted version of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, which some families practiced during the workshop: 

If you've spent any time around Langley Elementary, you've certainly heard about Conscious Discipline - through veteran parents singing it's praises, mushy reminders on the hallway walls ("In this place you are loved" etc.), maybe even through the tidbits your child shares at home. 

I spent a recent morning volunteering at Langley and got a firsthand look at how Conscious Discipline is implemented in the classrooms. Familiarize yourself with the rituals and structures below - your child will get the maximum benefit of the program if you can find ways to weave it through their home life. 

Building a strong school family is all about establishing connections. One of the ways this is done at Langley is through touch. Principal Drumm personally greets each child in their preferred manner - some kids want a big bear hug and others are happier with a fist bump. 

This ritual is repeated again within the classrooms - though it may take on a different shape depending on age group. In the preschool classrooms, a young greeter is designated and she'll go around to each of her classmates and make sure they've been welcomed warmly. 

The first-graders at Langley have got it good with an invigorating dinosaur-themed classroom makeover that includes some rrrrRrrradical furniture. The first-graders, AKA the Responsible Raptors, are test-driving non-traditional seating options this year - bouncy ones, wobbly ones and super soft and squishy ones too. 

The cozy nooks and cushy surfaces invite new readers to settle in with a good book. The chairs that move are great for kids with restless bodies and wandering minds since they increase secondary focus, relieving the student's need to fidget. 

These specially designed seats set the tone at each station of the classroom. They promote closer attention to detail and retention of lessons - oh yeah, and they're fun. 

In a piece called, "Good things are happening at Langley Elementary. You can help." Washington Post columnist John Kelly praised the school's social emotional program, Conscious Discipline, which Principal Drumm and team rolled out during the last couple of years. After describing some of Langley's healthy school family rituals the author wrote: "It can sound like so much high-concept touchy-feeliness, but the approach seems to be working. Since 2015, suspensions at Langley have fallen by 50 percent." 

Kelly invites readers to become a part of Langley's transformation by linking their Giant and Harris Teeter grocery cards to the school, which is an excellent way to contribute financially to Langley's PTSA. 

Read the full article here. 

Read about what Langley parents have had to say about Conscious Discipline here and here.  

Feeling stressed, Langley parents? Let's try some deep belly breathing. 

Each day at school, our children are learning about their emotions - what those emotions are called, the negative responses they may trigger and effective tools for regulating them. 

As part of Conscious Discipline, Langley's socio-emotional learning program, the children are taught four calming breathing techniques - you may have noticed references to them in your child's classroom and in the school hallways.

Watch the videos below to learn the breathing techniques. The next time your child is struggling with self-regulation at home, just say, "Breathe with me."

Stop by the Bloomingdale Farmers' Market this Sunday, Sept. 16th from 9 AM - 1 PM for lemonade, baked treats and information about your neighborhood school, Langley Elementary. This is a great opportunity to familiarize yourself with the school and the process before the busy winter season begins. Principal Drumm-Canepa and parents of Langley students will be on hand to share their positive experiences. We look forward to telling you about Langley's exceptional social-emotional program over some home-baked brownies!

The Langley representatives who attended professional development at the Conscious Discipline Institute in Orlando in June were, from left, Special Education Teacher Baxter O'Brien, Third Grade Teacher Stephanie Gunter, Principal Vanessa Drumm and Dean of Students Monique Robinson. 

In June we had the amazing opportunity to attend the 7-day Conscious Discipline Institute in Orlando, Florida, and learn directly from program creator Dr. Becky Bailey.  The Institute is small -only 150 people - and we enjoyed meeting other educators and administrators from around the country.  The Institute usually sells out right away, but we were fortunate enough to receive special tickets through our trainer, Nicole Mercer, because of the strong programming we have had at Langley and because we received funding from the DCPS Design Lab.  I was able to bring our CD Action team including Monique Robinson, Dean of Students, Baxter O’Brien, Special Education teacher and Stephanie Gunter, grade 3 teacher and myself, Principal Vanessa Drumm.

My daughter was one of a few preschoolers recently recognized by her Principal and her teachers for mastering a special new skill. I'm sure you're thinking it was writing her name legibly, counting by 10s to 100 or tossing her juice box in the trash.

This recognition (which came with a certificate and everything!) was for mastering the skill of assertiveness. A mother couldn't be more proud - first, that my kid is assertive at school and second, that she goes to a school that teaches such an important method of communication. "Be nice, be nice!" That's pretty much the extent of my own early childhood social training.

Telling preschool kids to be nice doesn't cut it. According to Dr. Becky Bailey, founder of Conscious Discipline, the third and fourth years of our lives are the most aggressive. When conflicts arise, children use the problem-solving tools at their disposal: often hitting, kicking, biting and screaming. Expulsion rates for preschoolers is 1,300% higher than any other grade level. I've known parents who have declined to send their children to preschool, for fear of exposing them to violence.